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Published on May 25th, 2010 | by hotarabic

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Joaquin Phoenix: The Al-Qaeda of Hollywood

Joaquin Phoenix: The Al-Qaeda of Hollywood

I hope he does not kick my ass for writing this. There are several signs that Hollywood stud Joaquin Phoenix is either an actual member of Al Qaeda or is the group’s analogue in Hollywood. Trust me. I know. I’m Arab.

  • Joaquin Phoenix has been as angry as hell lately. And so has Al Qaeda.
  • The beard.
  • Joaquin Phoenix’s character in “Signs” fights invaders from outer space. In the film, he wears tin foil on his head — one of the precautions suggested by the Department of Homeland Security in the case of a terrorist “dirty bomb” attack (other suggestions included buying loads of duct tape).
  • In “Ladder 49,” Joaquin Phoenix was a firefighter. Firefighters became heroes after 9/11. Al Qaeda thought the hijackers were heroes. Firefighters = hijackers. Duh!

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